SAD at the holidays with mom gone, job loss, health issues..
Well, never thought at age 60 I would write Santa.. but stranger things have happened lately.. MAYBE theres a soul out there that can help.
I lost my mom to senior home abuse neglect and misdiagnosis wrongful death, and harm last sept 20th.. she went in for a simple 2 week rehab for some walking leg issues, 5 months later she was gone.. It was horrific. they starved her hurt her bruisied her and her legs stopped working.. she got c diff and her organs shut down. then i lost my 11 year medical job, then her two twin sisters and one of her brothers all in 5 months.. i also was robbed at gunpoint by two thugs cashing my paycheck and hit and have ptsd and seizures now.. and cant get disability.. and cannot get to work outside the home, so im trying from home, and barely making it.. Been selling off belongings to make rent and dont have it for jan.. and the worst landlord in the world.. i sell art i do, and pictures.. but im just scraping by..
i try. to stay uplifted i try to just trust God.. my wish. would of course be to go back in time. try harder to fix everything. but i know thats not possible.. I just turned 60, trying to find a lawyer to take her case of wrongful death and neglect, the atty i hired after a year quit and got rude with me when i simply asked why is this taking so long.. seems i cant get a break lately. my cars old. i need. abetter one but now without work and better credit i cant.. as a lot of medical bills were also in my name as her caregiver/POA.. my bodys hurting and ive lost my mom to tragedy when we were planning to buy our first home in the country. start a small garden biz and try to take better care of the senior years ahead of us on our terms. i dont know what i wish for.. i need a new suv.. i need work in my skillsets form home.. i need to find my path. and get real help.. and a good attorney for my moms case.. i started a foundation in her honor but cant get it started without funds for a 501c im told..
id really like to start it and get the word out on how our seniors are hurt.
My wish for Christmas.. to be in a better place.. Seems like every single thing i try goes nowhere these days.. I pray daily. Im very close to God and trust him. But i feel like im lost and no one sees me . Santa.. help? i dont know what you can .. but prayer from any source these days would also help.. Alone at the holidays and wondering where to go next..
things i need. a good lightweight size windbreaker 2x size jacket, bedding, a good mattress queen size..
a good xlg dog bed for my lab who is my best friend.. simple things.. i depserately need a new MAC desktop computer with a cd player in it so i can keep trying to do art and sell it to support myself.. large screen.. as my eyes are bad.. the only thing ive been able to do is web design work here there, art design work, here there.. and i dont get the bills paid because mines soooooo old and always saying full and wont work properly.. i know if i had better tools i could maybe get better work..
but all this is huge wishful thinking i know.. all i know is art and design, creating.. a talent from my mom and god. If i could do more and get more work form home. id be ok.. the giant watercolor rolls,
paper brushes paints computer.. printer.. things to actually help me gain work. People have asked me to do speciifc things and i cant. i dont have the funds for supplies..
oh well.. if there is a SANTA person who could help.. please help.. i want to feel normal again. be working again..not so scared.